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#4 Wednesday Round Up
1/22/2023
Happy Wednesday (It’s Sunday),
Somehow, it is still January. I write to you from a half-naked, fully crouched, gollum-esque position in front of my heater as the wind rattles my windows outside. If you are anything like me, you are only now beginning to shake off the hangover from the holidays and get a bit of energy (I said a bit) back for yourself. The solstice is behind us, the days are lengthening ever so slowly, as a bit more light returns to our days.
The messed up thing about January’s vibe is that she’s a hangover disguised as a wellness retreat. We have retreated back to our individual corners of the earth, bloodied and spiritually disheveled after either forced proximity with our families—not all of whom necessarily know us, see us, understand us, or love us how we are— and/or a laundry list of social obligations—not all of which leave us with much energy to spare for ourselves afterwards. Some of us may have had unrelentingly oppressive working conditions over the holidays that didn’t actually allow us any semblance of rest or connection for the past 2 months. And then January has the audacity to suggest a green juice and ankle weights? Are you kidding me? January is a famously arduous marathon of societal pressure to change when in fact, winter is the season of stagnation, scientifically. Just look at a tree. Is it blossoming? No. It’s resting. Try it.
Despite the exhaustion, however, this January feels the most grounded of my adult Januaries, if also a little blue and…uncertain. January is for recovery, and I have to remind myself that recovery is actually quite painful. Healing is usually more unpleasant and agonizing than the initial injury— regrowing bones and learning how to use them again is often more frustrating than breaking your leg in the first place.
I spent a lot of time when I was younger obsessively making goals and resolutions to become something new and improved and subsequently wondering why the heck it didn’t make me happy. So, January for me has been historically brutal because instead of recognizing that I needed to recover from the holidays, I told myself I should be energized because look how much time off I had. However, that time off had mostly consisted of me carving away bits of myself to show up to holiday events the way others wanted me to and going broke in the process. I returned to myself in January exhausted and depleted and then…shamed myself for it.
If you were unnecessarily stimulated by people and situations that didn’t actually bring you joy over the past three months, January can feel really disorienting. Like “I’m exhausted and depressed and for what? What did I get out of those past 3 months of bearing down, gritting my teeth, and trying not to fall apart?” Social pressure to lose weight and be happy? Where is the transitional period?
Well lads, it’s here. I give you permission to treat January and February the way trees do. Root down, conserve energy, rest and recover. Spring is for growth. Winter is for eating potatoes. So no, January is never going to brim with energy for me, however, this January feels different than the apocalyptic ones of yore because for the first time, I’m not shaming myself for staying still or being tired. I am resting and healing. I hope these recommendations help you do the same!
Listening Round Up
🎧 Pop Food by Jack Stauber (Dreamy, Indie Pop Album 2017)
On my drive down to Los Angeles for Christmas, I noticed people were passing me and waving frantically, pointing to the back of my car. I pulled over in the middle of (and I cannot stress this enough) ~absolute~ nowhere to discover that my back, right tire was completely flat. We are talking mental-nearly-on-the-ground flat. When help arrived in a record 17 minutes, I didn’t realize my life would be forever changed for the better by this ethereal punk wizard who moonlights as a tow truck driver.
He had shoulder length salt and pepper hair, a face that has seen some shit, pink sunglasses to match his bubblegum manicure, and a smile that revealed teeth long departed. With a pack of Marlboro reds in his cupholder, he sang every word to Jack’s Oh Klahoma and Buttercup as drove the 15 miles to Rudy’s Tire Shop. When I told him that I liked his nails, he said “thank you! at first they were just pink, but I added this chrome on top so when the chrome chips, it sort of looks like this pink metallic tie dye. cool huh?” Uhm, yes? I have literally never felt safer or more inspired sitting in the passenger seat of a toe truck while a stranger drives me to an unknown destination. High above the other cars, singing to the melody of “saddest little baby in the room,” I basked in every human contradiction. Thank you toothless punk wizard, for saving my life and introducing me to new music! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🎧 Put You on Game by Russ (Song, Hip Hop)
This song is so empowering to me. Like, if I were a runner, I would run to this song. Instead, I’m just setting boundaries and chasing joy left and right. You could print out the lyrics and cut up each line and read it as a morning affirmation, I swear. ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Watching Round Up
🎬 Gold Digger (BBC via Youtube, romance, dark thriller, drama)
It’s now 3:04 am, and though I haven’t cleaned my house at all this weekend, I have started and finished this 2019 mini series staring the love of my life, Ben Barnes. You may know him better as Prince Caspian, Dorian Gray, or General Kirigan if you were even a slightly nerdy or intellectual child in the aughts or of course as the fancast Sirius Black if you are an absolutely unhinged Harry Potter Fanfiction reader (like me). Chances are, though, you probably don’t know him at all. If there’s one thing I know however, it’s hyperfixation, and I’m in my Ben Barnes era ok? Sue me.
This BBC mini series does what all BBC mini series do best — seaside cliffs, gritty alleyways, beautifully curated interiors, dysfunctional family meals, furtive glances, and bone deep longing. The show follows the romance between Julia, a recent divorcée celebrating her 60th birthday in London, and Benjamin, a man she meets at a museum who is nearly thirty years her junior, over the course of a year. Each fifty-five minute episode reveals more deeply the ties between Julia and a different ensemble character, and as her relationship with Benjamin grows more intimate, the people in her life grow more suspicious of his intentions.
I think this series is subversive and beautiful and even if I weren’t hyperfixating, I would have enjoyed it just as much. ⭐⭐⭐⭐
🎬 Shoresy (Hulu, comedy)
If you are in a completely different mood, I recommend the new Canadian comedy Shoresy starring Letter Kenny’s Jared Keeso. When I tell you I was audibly cracking up alone in my house… I’m not even sure what kind of comedy to call this (I’ve read reviews that call it the perfect combination of high brow and low brow, and I agree) but it’s absolutely worth the watch.
The first season follows the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs, a AAA hockey team with a terrible record, in their commitment to “never lose again” and possibly have a shot at the playoffs. What makes this show feel so special are its characters — all of them missing at least one of their incisors— and their specific quirks. I don’t know what I was expecting when I sat down to watch, but oh my god did it take a sharp left hand turn right into my heart forever. Highly recommend! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Reading Round Up
📚 The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake (Fantasy/Romance/Academia)
I am a late-to-everything girl, and BookTok hits are no exception. I had heard of this book from Lauren’s Little Library account, as she was embarking on reading its sequel (The Atlas Paradox) last year, but because I’ve been so wrapped up in fanfiction I haven’t been buying or reading many physical books. So imagine how blown my mind was to discover that before Olivie Blake was a published author, she spent her days writing some of the best Harry Potter (and other fandoms) fanfiction out there.
If you read this one closely, it’s not hard to make out who our coded characters are! (Hello, Draco Malfoy). If you’d rather read Olivie Blake’s fanfiction, I have heard amazing things about How to Win Friends and Influence People and Clean. Both are on my To Be Read (TBR) list!
I haven’t finished it yet, but so far its ⭐⭐⭐⭐ for world building and banter!Cooking Round Up:🧁Tomorrow Bread
I don’t even know what to call this kind of bread? It’s just bread. Like, tale as old as time, bread. Make it today, bake it tomorrow, bread. My dad is obsessed with baking bread and recited this recipe off the dome as I furiously scribed down instructions on the closest piece of paper, so like, it’s not perfect okay?
Materials Needed:-Dutch oven (I have this one from target, I think it’s 5qts)-Food scale -Proofing basket (honestly, I just use a big bowl and it’s fine)-Towels to drape over the rising dough (I have these ones from IKEA)-Big Bowl-A playlist (I usually go for The Parent Trap soundtrack)Ingredients:-1000 g flour-780 g water (at 90°F — apparently not everything is metric)-1/4 tsp yeast (again, this is a metric & imperial melange)-21 g salt *NOTE he has since amended this to be 18g salt but you do you, boo booInstructions
Tare your scale with your bowl and then pour 1000 g of flour in it
Re-tare your scale with a separate bowl and pour 780 g of 90° water into it
Add water to flour and mix by hand
Cover and let it rest for 20-30 mins
Re-tare scale for yeast, then salt measurements
Sprinkle yeast & salt on dough and fold it in / mix it up a lot. You don’t want pockets of your bread to be salty. If you aren’t sure how to fold the dough, watch this tutorial:
Cover and let sit for 20-30 minutes
Pull and fold the dough a bunch (“but not too much, like, four” according to my dad. I actually don’t really know what that means)
Cover and let sit for 20-30 minutes
Pull and fold the dough a bunch (“but not too much, like, four” according to my dad. I actually don’t really know what that means)
Dust with flour / olive oil & cover. Leave in fridge overnight
TOMORROW
Place your dutch oven in the oven while you preheat it to 475°F. *it is VITAL that your dutch oven be in the oven for the entire time the oven is preheating* 45-60 mins
Flour a surface and fold the dough again
Separate the dough in half (this recipe is enough for 2 loaves) and place each half into their proofing baskets and cover
Now, this part is a little hard to describe, so watch this video — basically you are going to create surface tension on the top of your dough by gathering it from the back and pushing it toward you a few times on an UNFLOURED surface so that it’s not just slipping all over the place.
With the seam side down place your first loaf in the dutch oven. (You can line the dutch oven with parchment paper if you want to be able to pull it out easily)
Bake with the lid on for 30 mins and then bake with the lid off for 30 minutes.
Enjoy! ⭐⭐⭐⭐
This is basically a kitchen sink soup that I made when my dad told me he was sick. After making it all from scratch, I learned that my dad was not even in the state? His ass was in New Orleans having a grand ole (feverish) time hopping from music venue to music venue letting the sweet rhythms guide his heart. So…I ate it.
My own twists on the recipe:I used homemade veggie stock & some chicken bouillon because I didn’t have any chicken stock and honestly, this soup did not have as much flavor as I was expecting, but the flavors did bloom over the course of the day and into the next. I recommend fully doubling the garlic & making sure you have way more herbs in your sachet than I did AND adding friend cayenne chickpeas to the soup after. Literally just rinse a can of chickpeas and put them into a skillet thats been warmed with olive oil, cayenne pepper, and salt. They made a world of difference. ⭐⭐⭐
Making Round Up
I was inspired by this project at the start of the year, and it has been such a fun way to interact with the news. Often the news is very sad, so scouring pages looking for beauty and profundity has let me feed my inner child as she hungrily cuts and glues bits together. Check out my blog for a picture of my spread from January 1, 2023. ⭐⭐⭐⭐
I have collected postcards ever since I was a kid. I don’t write on them, and I don’t send them to people. They reside untouched in a large box to be enjoyed by exactly no one. As a cancer who makes everything precious and sentimental, letting go & messing up can sometimes be hard. I like to have all of my comforts around all of the time. I hesitate to try something on a blank page because what if it turns out ugly? What if I ruin it?
Hanging out with my friend Lea, however, has taught me that the best thing I can do in this world is try. “There is no losing, Montana, there is only learning.” Lea is 8 and way ahead of the game. For Lea, there is no problem that cannot be solved with some brainstorming and a hot glue gun. “I can figure this out. I’m smart,” can often be heard coming from her mouth. It doesn’t have to be perfect, she always reminds me. I just have to try. So, instead of having precious vintage postcards sitting unblemished in a box, I’ve decided to send them out in the hopes that they bring a smile to others. Snail mail is such a dying art, and written correspondence is romantic, and as someone who is often too anxious to check the mail for months on end, the thought that maybe there is a letter or a postcard from a loved-one inside gives me more strength to open the mailbox. ⭐⭐⭐⭐
If you would like to receive a postcard, sign up here!
Laughing Round Up
😂Anderson Cooper on the Colbert Report 12/15/2022 AC cannot stop laughing about what a weird child he was. We can all relate. And oldie but a goodie!
Ending Note:
I think I need to start sending this out weekly, honestly, because when I finally sit down to write it, I have too many things to say, and I don’t want to make this round-up too long. (My ADHD homies get it). Or, I may alternate to have round-ups 1 week and more longer form ponderings the other, so, get ready for that I guess! All past newsletters are archived on my blog.
As always, I LOVE when you reach out to me with what you loved most about this newsletter and if you tried anything new! All love. XO, M